Love. It’s the most beautiful thing you could ever feel. It makes you see the light where you once saw nothing but darkness. It takes all your pain away and makes you feel like everything is just perfect in this imperfect world. It is the best thing you could ever receive. But here’s where the problem comes in. Barely anyone in receiving it nowadays. We’ve all heard stories of two lovers who fall deep in love and struggle to stay together, but in the end, it’s all okay. They somehow manage to make it through and live happily ever after. But what happens to those who fall so deep into love, but receive none of it in return? Some get over it, but others, they say they got over it but they lie to themselves to make them feel better. They…
This isn’t just about “they,” but more about me.
I’m amongst those who were in denial. I loved someone so deeply that I refused to accept the fact that this person was hurting me. I believed it wasn’t his fault, which honestly it wasn’t because he didn’t even know what he was doing. I just endured all the pain without letting him know because that’s what I’m good at. I’d rather deal with the pain rather than tell somebody they’re hurting me, especially if I love that person.
When you love someone, you don’t care about anything, not even yourself. All you care is about that one person. To you, their happiness means everything. Seeing that individual happy means the world to you, even though that individual doesn’t care about you as much as you do about them. Seeing them happy just feels right, regardless of the feelings you’re lying to yourself about. People ask how it’s easy loving someone without receiving anything in return, and honestly, I don’t have the answer to that because it is not easy. When you don’t get the attention from them, it hurts. But one single act from them towards you gives you the power to stay happy for a really long time. And trust me when I say that. One small gesture from them means everything to you. Some may wonder, why not just walk away? Well, it’s not easy walking away from someone you love. Nowadays people come and go in your life, but that’s not true love. When you really love someone, you stay no matter what. My love runs so deep; I can get stabbed and still wouldn’t leave. Craziness? Maybe. But only those who are truly in love will understand. It’s not easy finding a love like this. In fact, I hope no one finds a love like this—one sided. Love should run both ways, but for now all I have is this and until someone walks into my life and shows me how beautiful a two-sided love can be, I’ll live with this one because I may have the power to walk away, but not the strength. And yes, power and strength are two different things.
Remember how I said I was amongst those in denial? Truth is, I still love him. Truth is, I still get hurt every so often. Truth is, I can’t let go because my love is too deep.