Its All Made Up


            We always hear about the ideal man or woman, and why shouldn’t we? The ideal individual has everything to produce a long healthy relationship with very minor flaws that could cause issues. Now, this ideal man or woman has a degree, is family oriented and has a high paying job. In simpler terms, they have the right tools that can help two people grow in many aspects.

            What do I look for? Well, exactly what an ideal woman should have. A degree, a career, family oriented and someone who can be my best friend; and I found just that last year. Yet, I realized I wasn’t happy with those qualities alone because they didn’t excite who I really am from the inside. Do I really care about what research lab you are working in? Honestly, I don’t. Do I really care that you are on the road to a six-figure job? I actually don’t. What I actually long and care for is someone with depth — the ability to make me laugh, someone who knows when to be serious and someone who I can vibe with on every level, not just the levels I have made up in my mind.

            What I realized through my personal situation is that we as humans have made up someone in our mind that we see ourselves with. So naturally our list of people on our radar is very small. What about the people who don’t quit meet your “qualifications”? Now, I’m not saying lower your standards, but maybe try someone who you wouldn’t usually give a chance to. There’s no equation in this world that can help you find the right partner, but don’t shorten your own list with made up things that are highly unlikely or impossible (such as one of my friends who wants a 6 foot 4 inch man, works in IT, loves  animals and is a gym rat). I’m not saying that doesn’t exist, but shit, that’s very particular. You aren’t baking cake guys, you’re trying to find someone you can connect with.

            What’s your ideal man or woman? What qualities do you hold important and what can you sacrifice? Next time you bump into someone, ask yourself one thing: does this person meet the qualities I have made up in my mind or do they truly excite all of my senses from the inside out? Nobody is perfect and nothing in the world will be 100% to your liking, but you have to learn to love it.